


Matters of the Heart

by KittyBandit



Series: Sleeping with the Enemy [4]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst, Drama, M/M, Oral Sex, Romance, Sex, Violence, canon pre chapter 223, handjobs, hints of laven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-21 03:21:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10676640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyBandit/pseuds/KittyBandit
Summary: Part 4 of the Sleeping with the Enemy series. Lavi is still reeling from his confrontation with Tyki weeks ago, and the unexpected revelation of how deeply his feelings for the Noah actually ran. That, coupled with his unexpected run in with the 14th, has left him questioning everything he’d done for months.





	Matters of the Heart

**Author's Note:**

> I'M NOT DEAD. XD
> 
> Sorry this took so long to get out, but other works *cough cough lost time cough cough* were taking up my headspace. I hope you all like this one.

“Junior!”

Lavi winced at the call, already knowing he was in trouble just by the tone of Bookman’s voice. Still, he couldn’t keep his mouth shut, and he continued to dig the hole deeper than he already had. “Look, Old Man. I already told you I don’t want to go. Can’t we just… switch or something?”

Bookman glared at his apprentice, the creases at the corners of his eyes deepening. “I’ve already explained to you why we can’t just switch missions. I’m needed in Berlin and it’s not a matter you can handle on your own.”

Averting his eye, Lavi stared at a pile of books in the corner of their room. His throat constricted tight as he scoured his brain for a reason— _any reason_ —to keep him from going on this mission. “I don’t need to go. I can just stay here, work on some of the manuscripts you need translated.”

“We’re not here to translate, Junior. The reason we’re even with the Noah in the first place is to record.” Bookman pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a long, exasperated sigh. “This mission is important. I can’t have you missing it. Unless you can give me a real reason, I need you to go.”

Lavi had a reason, and a damned good one, but he knew exposing the truth to Bookman would only cause him more trouble. He had kept his affair quiet for months—he wasn’t about to confess now. It would only make matters worse.

Biting his tongue, Lavi used the pain to distract himself from the sense of impending doom that crowded his heart. “I just don’t want to go.”

Bookman glared at him. “Enough of this laziness, boy! I don’t know what’s changed in the past week, but I’m tired of you moping around like a kicked dog.” Turning from Lavi, he reached down and grabbed his half-packed bag. “You’re leaving tomorrow morning at dawn, so I suggest you get your shit together now. I doubt they will tolerate your behavior any better than I do.”

Resigning himself, Lavi watched as Bookman packed his own bag before he pulled himself off his bed to snatch his empty pack off the floor. He stuffed clothes into it without thought, bunching the fabric into messy balls and not even checking to make sure the clothes were clean, let alone if he was packing the right things. His mind was in a haze, his body only going through the motions.

It had been two weeks since he’d last spoken to Tyki, and their exchange haunted his thoughts near-constantly every day since. The Noah avoided him with such ease that Lavi had only seen fleeting glances of him when he traveled through the mansion. It was a stark contrast to how things had been months earlier, when Lavi had done all he could to avoid Tyki, yet he found him every chance he got.

Lavi never thought he would miss it.

_“You know how much he means to me—and if you killed him, I wouldn’t agree to be your fucktoy anymore.”_

_“Your ass isn’t that great, Red. You’re not worth it. You never were.”_

Lavi tried to shake off the memories, but he should have known better by then. Nothing could ever leave his mind once he’d seen it, and these words, both his and Tyki’s, played over and over again in his head like a broken record.

It was stupid. Ridiculous. A waste of his time. He wasn’t supposed to care about Tyki. How many times had he reminded himself that their arrangement had only been for carnal pleasures—feelings, love, and romance were not part of the deal. But then he had to fall, and fall hard. It made no sense. He hated Tyki, hated him to his core—

But, God, he loved him. How had he not realized he loved him until it was too late?

He finished stuffing clothes in his bag, dropping it next to the bed before climbing back under the blankets. It was well past midnight, and he only had a few hours before he needed to be up and ready to leave. He didn’t relish having to spend more time with the Noah than necessary, but Bookman had made it clear that he wasn’t getting out of this assignment.

As he understood it, the other Noah had decided to double their efforts in finding the infamous 14th, and Lavi was along for the ride to record things for the Bookmen. He was to meet up with Road, Wisely, and Tyki in the morning, and follow them as they hunted down the rogue Noah.

He didn’t know what he was going to do when he finally saw Tyki again.

Part of him hoped Tyki would simply bow out of the mission, once he knew Lavi was supposed to tag along. And if he did travel with them, there was a good chance Tyki would ignore him as he had for the past two weeks.

Part of him hoped Tyki would just punch him and get it over with.

And then there was Allen—the 14th. Lavi should have known it wasn’t Allen the moment he’d see him in that alleyway. The set of his lips, his mannerisms, and the way he held himself was nothing like the Allen he knew. Tyki had been right; Neah had taken over Allen’s body and there was fuck all he could do about it. The sting of his fight with Tyki was bad enough, but having the tangible proof that he’d lost Allen as well was more than he could handle. And now, he was heading out on a mission to find him and deliver his former friend to his enemies.

It all hurt too much to think about.

Lavi sunk into his too-narrow bed and pulled the blanket over his head. Bookman was still awake and working, but it didn’t matter. Even if he had a pitch black room and total silence, his thoughts would still mock him all night long and keep him awake until the wee hours of the morning. He couldn’t turn his brain off, no matter how hard he tried. Images of Tyki and Allen flooded his mind, taunting him with every mistake he’d made for months now. His stomach twisted up into a tight knot of guilt and regret.

He just has to get through these next few days. If he could manage that, he could manage anything.

 

xXxXxXx

 

Morning came like a slap to the face, and Lavi dragged himself out of bed with a groan. He hadn’t slept for more than a few minutes at a time. His good eye was lined in a dark, almost purple circle, and his shoulders sagged with fatigue. He’d spent days on end awake and working non-stop on his Bookman duties, but this one night seemed to have sucked the life straight from his bones. He didn’t bother to complain to Bookman, and instead washed his face quickly in the washroom sink before changing clothes and trudging downstairs. He didn’t even bother with breakfast, as his stomach churned angrily. Even a piece of fruit felt too heavy to bother with.

The morning sun peeked in through the windows, shafts of light striking across the floor as he stepped into the entrance hall. His footsteps echoed on the tiles, and it wasn’t until he was nearly at the door did he see Road and Wisely waiting patiently. Tyki wasn’t there…

When Road looked up at him, she smiled devilishly. “Aw, Wisely. Our little Bookman is disheveled. Did you not sleep well last night? You look like shit.”

Lavi dropped his bag unceremoniously next to him as he came to a stop a few feet away from the pair. He tried to give her a scathing look, but it only came off as annoyed. He was too exhausted to put up much of a fight. “I’m not in the mood.”

Road tsked him, and walked closer, mere inches away from him. “No need to be snippy with me. You don’t want to start off our mission on the wrong foot, do you?”

Lavi pursed his lips and turned his gaze away. Road may have looked innocent and small, but he knew firsthand that her stature was not an indicator of her strength. He never wanted to experience another one of her dream worlds again. Once was enough.

His eye turned back to the staircase, watching for when Tyki finally arrived. Even though he’d dreaded it all night, he couldn’t keep that sliver of excitement at seeing his dark countenance again.

Road touched his hand, pulling him out of his thoughts. He startled, shifting his gaze back to her. Her taunting smile had softened as she watched him. Then, he heard it, the sound of her voice in his head: _I miss him, too._

Lavi was taken aback. His lips parted and he took a breath to speak, but the words wouldn’t leave his tongue. Her golden eyes burned into his green one, but she spoke nothing else into his mind. She held his attention so raptly that he hadn’t realized the last person had joined their group.

“What are we doing standing around for? Let’s go already,” Tyki snapped.

Road let go of Lavi’s hand and set her hands on her hips. “We’re waiting for _you_ , you know. Have some consideration for others once in awhile.”

“Whatever. I’m here now, aren’t I?”

“Not so loud,” Wisely complained, rubbing his temples as Tyki’s voice carried through the room.

Road huffed and set about summoning one of her doors. As the gaudy entrance materialized in the room, Lavi took the chance to look at Tyki.

His jaw was set hard, arms crossed over his chest and eyebrows narrowed. He stood away from Lavi, far enough that it was clear that he was purposely putting space between them. Lavi didn’t realize he was staring until Tyki’s yellow eyes met his for a brief second. The intensity in them forced Lavi to turn away, his heart thudding against his chest. As the door opened and they filed into the pocket of space and time, Lavi felt his heart drop down to the pit of his stomach.

He had never seen such a look of contempt in Tyki’s eyes.

 

xXxXxXx

 

Traveling through Road’s door was like traveling through the Ark itself, so much so that Lavi wondered if they were in Noah’s Ark. However, nothing was familiar, and the few rooms and hallways they traveled through looked nothing like what he had remembered. Recalling the instances in that place left him shaking his head in the hopes of removing them from his mind, if only it were so easy.

When they reached the last door, Road opened it, and sunlight nearly blinded them after traveling through the darkened hallways. Lavi shielded his eye as they all stepped through the door. Road cast the entrance away, and it disappeared in an instant.

Once Lavi’s eye cleared, he saw their surroundings. They stood in an alleyway, the bustling main street not more than half a block away. The alley was empty, save for a some refuse that littered the walkway.

Road turned to Wisely, looking up at him expectantly. “Can you sense him?”

With a sigh, Wisely closed his eyes and tilted his chin up. It was as if he were listening for something that only he could hear. They waited patiently, and when he shook his head, he turned his gaze back to Road. “I can tell he’s here somewhere, but there are too many people to get a proper reading on him.”

Pouting, Road chewed on her lip. She looked out to the street for a quick moment, then grabbed onto Wisely’s arm. She pulled him down the alley and towards the main road, turning around to smirk at Tyki and Lavi.

“We should split up to look for the 14th,” she said, her gaze narrowing in on Tyki. “I’ll go with Wisely and you two can go together.”

“What?!” Tyki bristled, his teeth gnashing together with barely held in rage. “Are you serious?!”

“It’ll be faster is we split up.” She didn’t stop to argue, just continued walking. Tyki followed after, and it was only when he was almost left behind that Lavi hurried to catch up.

“Why don’t you go with _him_ ,” Tyki demanded as he fell into step with Road. The tone of his voice only made that knot in Lavi’s stomach tighten with unease.

“Because I say so. This is my mission and I’m in charge. So, you have to listen to me.” She stuck her tongue out at Tyki before stepping into the street. “Meet at the inn by nightfall.” And with that, she and Wisely disappeared into the crowd.

Tyki stared wide-eyed at the empty space where Road and Wisely had been not seconds ago. He let out a loud groan and raked his hand through his hair. “Fuck,” he growled, gritting his teeth together so tight that Lavi was certain he’d heard his jaw creak. There was a tense, silent moment before he turned to Lavi, yellow eyes on him.

Lavi froze, not sure what to do or say. He hadn’t expected to be in Tyki’s company alone for more than a few moments during this trip, and thanks to Road, he was now expected to spend the majority of the day in his company. He could only meet his eyes for a moment before averting his gaze, focusing in on the brick wall next to them. That sick feeling was back in his guts, slithering like snakes in his stomach. He thought he might have thrown up, if he’d had anything in there to begin with.

Swallowing down his nerves, Lavi spoke up, his voice timid and weak. “Tyki, about what happened—”

“Shut up. I don’t wanna hear it.” The words were so abrupt and final that Lavi cringed. He still couldn’t look at Tyki, and now he knew without a doubt that the Noah was avoiding him, that he didn’t want to see him or even be near him.

Turning away and storming towards the street, Tyki called over his shoulder, “Hurry the hell up. I’m not waiting for your slow ass.”

His voice shook Lavi into action, and he followed after Tyki, keeping just behind him as they entered the street. Mornings were busy in the market, and today was no exception. People hurried about from vendor stalls and shops, and the sudden rush of it all left Lavi dizzy. He’d been cooped up in the Noah’s residence for so many months that this crowd overwhelmed him. He had never felt this way before, so claustrophobic in such an open space, but as he learned in these past few months, things could change at the drop of a coin.

Things could change so much.

The day’s events blurred for Lavi as he diligently followed Tyki through town. He was hard pressed to pay much attention to his surroundings, his eye focused on Tyki’s broad shoulders as they wandered down street after street in hopes of finding the 14th. They barely spoke more than two words between them, and the tension left Lavi’s neck knotted up from the stress.

He wanted to say something again, break the silence, apologize for his actions and words two weeks ago, but instead he kept his lips pressed tight together. Tyki didn’t seem interested in what he had to say, anyway, if his earlier outburst was any indication.

Besides, it was better this way, wasn’t it?

They never should have started this in the first place—this relationship, whatever it was. It had been a foolish impulse, and one Lavi regretted after the fallout. He knew better, even if he didn’t have the damned Bookman code to fall back on. Tyki had been his enemy when he was still an Exorcist, and even though he and Bookman had unofficially left the Black Order, Tyki still wasn’t someone to be trusted—none of the Noah were. They wanted humanity to fall, and Lavi was painfully human.

They were oil and water; unable to mix and constantly at war with each other. Tugging and pulling and breaking each other down, unable to peacefully coexist in the same space. It was painful, volatile, and unhealthy. But fuck, Lavi was weak. So, so weak. He’d resisted at first, pushed away Tyki’s advances and kept him at arm’s length. It only worked for so long, until Lavi couldn’t push back anymore. He used Tyki, used him to forget about his troubles, the Order, his friends, the pain—

He used him to forget about Allen.

There were too many stunted emotions boiling in Lavi’s chest to keep track of. He felt guilty for using Tyki, but at the same time, justified considering they were former enemies. He wanted to apologize, but at the same time, he wanted to leave this rift between them, lest he fall back into old habits with the Noah. He didn’t trust Tyki, but at the same time, he did. He was supposed to hate Tyki, but he loved him. It was a mess.

Up was down. Black was white. Hot was cold. Nothing made sense; everything felt backwards.

Topping it all off was the sick feeling of having seen Allen— _no, Neah_ —just two weeks prior. Seeing him use Allen’s body was too much. It wasn’t his friend, but it was at the same time. Allen was gone, or so everyone had told him. The 14th took his body, used it as a vessel for his return, and was plotting to overthrow the Earl. The details had never been explained, and Bookman kept tight-lipped about it all, even now. Lavi only had half the story, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered to him was that a Noah was walking around with Allen’s body, Allen’s face, and his friend was gone.

How many times was he going to lose someone he cared about?

Tyki led him back to the inn, and when they entered, he saw Road and Wisely already in the common room. Road had procured a strawberry shortcake from the restaurant, and Wisely was nursing a cup of hot tea. When Road looked up and noticed them, she frowned.

“No luck either?”

With an aggravated huff, Tyki crossed his arms. “Astute observation. And may I say, what a fucking waste of our time. Why are we even here, anyway? He’s probably gone by now. Let’s go back home.”

Road frowned, propping her chin on an upturned hand. “We can’t leave yet. Wisely says he’s still here.”

Tyki turned his glared towards Wisely. “He’s here and you can’t _find_ him?”

Wisely’s eyebrows twitched in annoyance and he pulled the mug of tea from his lips. “You try narrowing down one person’s thoughts in a town this size. It’s giving me a migraine.” He closed his eyes and sighed, rubbing his temples gently. “It’s not as easy as you might think.”

Road popped another forkful of strawberry shortcake into her mouth. “We’ll stay here a few days, just to see if we can find him. He might make himself known to us if we’re lucky.”

Tyki let out an aggravated noise, halfway between a groan and growl. “Fine. Whatever. Just give me the key to the room. I’m done with you all today.”

Pouting, Road pulled a key from her pocket and offered it to him, the loop hanging off her index finger. “You’re no fun today, Tyki.”

He snatched it up and headed towards the inn rooms. “I wonder why,” he muttered, not bothering to look back at them.

With a sigh, Road shook her head. She pulled out another key and handed it to Lavi. “You’ve got your own room tonight, Junior. Hope you’re excited for that.”

Lavi took the key, already too numb from the day’s activities to pay Road’s teasing comments much mind. “Yes, thank you.” He left as well, hearing Road comment to Wisely on everyone’s rudeness that night, but he lost their conversation as he turned the corner and headed down the hallway. The key had the room number etched into it, and it was easy enough to find his room after checking the numbers on the door.

As he entered, he dropped his bag to the floor, locked the door, and collapsed on the bed. The room was small, but clean, and the best part about it was he was blissfully alone. Lavi had forgotten what it was like to have a room all to himself. He’d shared quarters with Bookman for so many years that the thought of such privacy was all but a distant memory.

The sun was setting, and the dim, orange light cast in at odd angles from the window. Lavi lay there for a long moment, staring up at the ceiling and watching the shadows slowly draw longer against the whitewashed walls. He could hear the muffled sound of people on the street just outside, and it lulled him into a fuzzy place in his mind. Today had been too painful, too rough to deal with, and now that he was alone, the pent up stress left him weak and exhausted. He kicked off his boots before climbing under the blankets. He didn’t care if he missed dinner or that it was too early to go to bed.

In that moment, all he wanted to do was sleep.

 

xXxXxXx

 

“Why, Road? Why’d you have to make me come with?” Tyki leaned back against the wall of their inn room, hands over his face as he complained.

She smiled, tilting her head. “Why does everything have to be about you, Tyki?” The sickly sweet sound of her voice grated on his already frayed nerves. Tyki pulled his hands away and glared.

“I know you did it on purpose.”

“Keep it down,” Wisely complained softly. He had found a comfortable spot on one of the beds and curled up as he tried to soothe the raging migraine pounding in his temples.

“Yeah, Tyki. Keep it down,” Road mocked, sticking her tongue out playfully.

Tyki lowered his voice, but the angry tone remained. “You know I didn’t want to see him and you drag me along anyway. I should’ve stayed home.” He stalked over to the window, turning his eyes to the street. It was dark, and only a few lamplights were visible. Tomorrow, they would be out again, looking for the 14th, but for now, he let out his frustrations on his family.

“You could’ve, if you really wanted to. I didn’t _force_ you to tag along.” Road poured herself another cup of tea. The delicate tea set looked misplaced in the bare-bones room. She set the pot down on the serving tray and picked up the cup, sipping the hot liquid quietly.

“What, and leave you with just Wisely while you try to capture the 14th? I think not.” To emphasize his point, he gestured to the other Noah, who was still groaning on the bed, now pressing a soft pillow over his face. The sight was quite pathetic.

“You know that we’re more than capable of taking care of ourselves,” Road added, watching him with amused, yellow eyes. “This all sounds like excuses. You wanted to come. You wanted to see _him_.”

The blatant accusation left Tyki silent for a few seconds too long. “Shut up.”

Wisely pulled the pillow off of his face and sat up with a wince, one hand pressed to his forehead. “It’s true. It’s all you’ve thought about for two weeks now.”

“I have no—” Tyki paused, a sudden anger boiling up as the turned to Wisely. “Have you been reading my mind again? I told you to stop that! It’s creepy!”

Wisely gave him a wry smile in spite of the pain in his head. “Hard not to when you’re all but screaming it constantly in your head.”

“I am not!”

“Tell that to my migraine.”

“Tyki,” Road said, her voice losing the teasing quality it had had earlier. “I think it’s time you admit to yourself how you feel. Hasn’t it been long enough?”

Tyki looked away, stiffening at her words. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You know,” Road insisted, her voice remaining level and calm as she stared at him. “The junior Bookman. You’ve become attached.”

“No, I haven’t,” Tyki insisted, panic edging into his voice. “I don’t give a shit about him.”

Road stood and walked over to Tyki, a comforting look on her face as she wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. Tyki stiffened for a moment, but didn’t pull away. “It’s okay. You don’t have to lie. Wisely and I have known for a while now. We know you’re upset, and we just want you to feel better.”

Tyki didn’t reply, but he turned to look back out the window, his face softening. He wanted to keep denying their accusations, but deep down, he felt the truth in them, even if he didn’t want to accept it himself. His fingers twitched before resting his hand on Road’s shoulder, half hugging her back. He was tired—tired of denying his feelings, tired of pretending, tired of hurting.

“We don’t care, Tyki,” Road said. “You can do what you want with Junior. You might as well enjoy it while it lasts.”

Tyki’s eyebrows furrowed at her wording, confusion slipping onto his face. “What?”

Wisely pulled his legs over the side of the bed and stood up, still a bit weak in the legs. “Once we’ve eliminated the 14th, we can finish our main objective.”

Road tilted her head to look up at Tyki. “The destruction of humanity,” she clarified, smiling. “Even the little Bookman will have to go, eventually.”

He couldn’t hide the shocked look on his face. Tyki had always assumed that their end goal would be a long time off. Things had moved slowly so far, and honestly, he didn’t realize he would see an end to it all so soon. He thought he had time… Maybe he hadn’t been thinking at all?

His stomach suddenly felt sick.

Loosening her grip, Road reached up and placed her hands on Tyki’s cheek, forcing him to look down at her. She smiled, more wisdom in her eyes than should have been for how young she appeared. “When you fully accept your Noah, you will understand. Attachments to anyone who isn’t in our family are not worth it. You’ll see in time.”

Tyki pulled away, running a hand through his hair to distract himself from the nervous shaking of his hands. He knew these things. He knew them—so why did he feel like this? Why did he feel like the ground had disappeared from under his feet?

“Yeah, you’re right,” he said, automatically. He stepped away from Road, her and Wisely both watching him as he shifted towards the door. “I’m just gonna… take a walk. I’ll be back later.”

He could feel their gazes on his back as he retreated from the room.

 

xXxXxXx

 

He had thought it was a dream.

In the dark of his room, Lavi felt pressure on his body, his lips, a gentle touch pulling at his clothes and the blankets around him. He smelled cigarettes and a hint of alcohol, a familiar musk. With a groan, he opened his eye.

_Someone was on top of him._

He panicked, body stiffening as he tried to jerk away, however the person held him down and hushed him quietly.

“It’s me.”

He recognized the voice instantly and froze up. “T-Tyki? What are you doing here?” Lavi tried to sit up, but before he could move more than a couple of inches, Tyki captured his lips with a searing kiss. It stole the air out of his lungs, and Lavi’s chest pinched tightly. He didn’t know what was happening or why Tyki was here, but the kiss soothed the numbness in his heart and tore down the walls that he’d spent weeks building up around his emotions. He sighed through his nose, whining softly as Tyki finally pulled back.

“I don’t care anymore,” Tyki whispered in the dark. Lavi couldn’t see him well after waking up, just a faint outline of shadow against the moonlight filtering in through the window, but his voice wavered. It shook along with his hands as he clung to Lavi’s shoulders. “It doesn’t matter if you care more about Allen than me. I don’t care what you said.”

Lavi felt his throat tighten and tears prickling at his good eye. “Tyki—”

“I lied,” Tyki said, cutting him off. “You’re worth it. You’re worth everything.”

Lavi’s breath caught in his throat, not knowing what to say. The admission was so unlike Tyki, so unlike any of the interactions they’d had in the past, that it took Lavi aback. He reached out, one hand smoothing over Tyki’s cheek. He felt damp trails on his skin.

Before he could ask if he was crying, Tyki leaned in and kissed him again. It was a desperate kiss, full of sorrow and regret. Lavi returned it in kind, wrapping his arms around Tyki’s neck and pulling him as close as he could. When Tyki parted their lips to take a breath and move to the redhead’s neck, Lavi choked up. “I’m sorry,” he cried, hands tightening in the fabric of Tyki’s shirt. “I never should’ve said those things. I never should’ve—”

“I said I don’t care, Red,” Tyki said, cutting him off. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“But—”

“Just be with me. I need you right now.”

Lavi swallowed at the lump in his throat and nodded, kissing Tyki again. Their lips pressed together and he could taste salt from their tears. The kiss only lasted a moment before Tyki sat up and began pulling at his own shirt. He shucked it off in seconds, then tugged off Lavi’s. They shifted on the mattress, pulling clothes off each other until they could feel the warmth of their naked bodies pressed together.

Tyki’s lips found Lavi’s neck, and he sucked bruises into the pale skin as he rutted his hips up against the redhead’s. Lavi moaned, his body reacting instantly to Tyki’s touches. They hadn’t touched in two weeks, but it was as if nothing had changed in that time. Lavi dug his nails into Tyki’s shoulders, arching up against him with needy movements.

His heart felt as if it would burst with all the emotions warring in his chest. Lavi knew it was wrong, that he was just falling back into old habits with the Noah. Nothing good could come of this, but still… he couldn’t stop. He needed this—needed Tyki.

And Tyki seemed to need him just as badly.

With a gasp, Lavi pressed his face into Tyki’s shoulder. Everything was so much, so fast. He slipped a hand into Tyki’s hair, tugging at the black curls and rubbing his hips against him. “I missed you,” he whispered, the words half-choked on a groan that forced its way out of his throat.

Tyki didn’t reply, but he sucked at his skin harder before pulling away again and kissing down Lavi’s body. Every touch was like fire across his skin, burning a trail of desire over his flesh with each caress. Tyki licked over his chest, then stomach, moving lower and lower until he slipped Lavi’s already hard cock into his mouth and sucked.

Lavi gasped, slapping a hand over his mouth to muffle the moan that erupted not a moment later. The wet, warm heat of Tyki’s mouth left Lavi’s limbs shivering. His tongue was relentless, sliding up and down with fast strokes, already leaving Lavi’s stomach in a knot and his heart in his throat. Just before he was about to stop Tyki, not wanting to come so quickly after starting, Tyki pulled back. Lavi panted, the rush of pleasure leaving him limp against the bed.

Crawling back up, Tyki kissed Lavi again. Lavi felt his long fingers curling around his shaft, and without breaking their kiss, he started stroking him. With a groan, Lavi tried to keep his hips still, but the friction was too much. He bucked up into Tyki’s touch, not caring how desperate he looked and sounded.

He wanted this. _He needed it_.

“Tyki… Tyki, please,” Lavi begged, pressing his face against his neck and clinging to him tightly.

“Shh,” Tyki whispered back, his lips brushing against Lavi’s cheek. “Cum for me, _Lavi_.”

Lavi couldn’t help it, not when Tyki used his name—the name he wasn’t supposed to have. He moaned, spilling himself over Tyki’s fingers as if on command. He would’ve been ashamed of how easy it had been for Tyki to manipulate his body if it didn’t feel so damned good.

Tyki waited until the last of his orgasm had been milked from his body, then gently let go of his softening dick. Tyki smiled and pressed a quick kiss to Lavi’s temple before smoothing his fingers through the mess on his stomach. “So good, Red.” Shifting on the bed, he positioned himself between Lavi’s legs and spreading them with a practiced ease. With his cum-slicked fingers, he fingered Lavi’s hole, then slipped one inside.

Groaning and flushing hotly, Lavi twisted his head to the side, pressing his face into the pillow as Tyki stretched his insides in preparation. The familiar burn left him squirming on the bed, and he let out little gasps and mewls as Tyki worked into him, adding another digit, then another, until he was slick and ready.

Without a word, Tyki pulled his fingers free, coated his cock in Lavi’s spilled seed, and pressed himself into the redhead. They both groaned at the contact, Lavi at the full feeling of Tyki inside him, and Tyki at the tightness of Lavi surrounding him. Tyki’s yellow eyes stared down at Lavi. They’d both gotten used to the dark and could see well enough to make out each other’s faces. The look in Tyki’s eyes left Lavi breathless. He’d never seen it before, that hungry passion tinted with something else—something stronger.

Lavi’s lips parted, and Tyki took the opportunity to lean in and kiss him, tongue diving into his mouth. Whining, Lavi spread his legs wider, kissing back with the same determined hunger. He heard Tyki moan in response, the sound rattling in his throat as his hips began to work into him.

It was a slow, steady rhythm, and the friction left Lavi mewling with want. He was still sensitive from his first orgasm, and having Tyki move inside him, stretch him to his limits… It only left Lavi hungry for more. Each roll of Tyki’s hips left Lavi groaning and gasping for air, and the harder he pushed, the more Lavi whined. They’d fucked so many times over the past few months that Lavi lost count, but every time left him feeling the same as he did now—hungry, desperate, and burning hot.

Tyki’s speed increased, and Lavi’s nails dug into his back in response. The sound of wet skin on skin echoed off the walls, mingling with their moans and cries. Lavi curled his legs around Tyki’s hips, head tossed back against the pillows. He was already hard again and his erection bounced off his cum-stained stomach as Tyki thrust into him over and over again.

“Harder—” Lavi choked out, his eye squeezed shut as his toes curled tight. Tyki complied, his hips moving even faster yet. Their pace was so fast, each thrust felt never-ending, and the sensations building in the redhead’s guts twisted into a delicious mix of pain and pleasure. Lavi slipped his hand between them, grabbing himself and jerking off.

“Fuck, Lavi. You— _Nnn_ …” Tyki groaned, biting at his lip as his hands clenched into the bedsheets to keep himself anchored. His hips pumped harder, the smell of sweat and sex filling his nostrils and driving him to keep moving, even as his limbs burned from the exertion.

“Don’t stop, Tyki. Please, don’t stop.” Lavi stroked himself harder still, harder than he should’ve, and stopped holding back the noises leaving his mouth. They were lewd and wanton, but he couldn’t help it—it felt too good, too right. Too perfect.

They continued on like that for minutes, the sweat and heat between them coalescing until Lavi lost himself once more. He came again, a smaller splash of white against his stomach than before. No sooner than he felt his muscles seize in orgasm did Tyki join him. He moaned loudly, pressing his face into Lavi’s shoulder as he spilled into his tight ass, his thrusts losing their rhythm until he eventually slowed to a stop.

Panting as sweat prickled over his skin, Tyki pulled out and collapsed next to Lavi on the bed. He tugged the redhead closer, both turned on their sides, and kissed him again. It was a lethargic kiss, but the sweetness of it made Lavi whine in the back of his throat. He ran a hand over Tyki’s sweaty cheek and kissed him back with the same soft intensity.

When they parted, Tyki tucked Lavi’s face against his shoulder, holding him close. He was still trembling like before, but Lavi couldn’t tell if it was from the sex or something else. He didn’t let go, continuing to cling to Lavi as if his life depended on it. Lavi swallowed, his hands smoothing over dark skin. Something felt off. “Tyki?”

He shook his head, not letting Lavi go. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” Tyki ran a hand through Lavi’s hair, though he was certain it was more for the Noah’s benefit than his own. “Just go to sleep.”

Lavi wanted to argue, but exhaustion ate away at his resolve like acid. His eye drifted closed, and the last thing he remembered before falling asleep was Tyki mumbling soft words of comfort into his messy hair.

 

xXxXxXx

 

Morning came too soon, and Lavi woke to the soft sound of breathing on the back of his neck and a strong arm wrapped tight around his midsection. It wasn’t the first time Lavi had woken up in Tyki’s arms, but it was the first time they’d stayed together the whole night. There was something different about it, something not like the other times he had woken up groggy and full of shame, carefully extracting himself from Tyki’s grasp and hastily dressing before rushing back to his room. This time, he felt a calm wash over him, even with the rolling emotions boiling up in his chest and too many thoughts strangling his brain. Everything was complicated and a mess, but they were here together, in some semblance of reconciliation, and for that, Lavi felt relief like he hadn’t in months.

He still didn’t know why Tyki had decided to come back to him after everything they’d said to each other that night two weeks ago. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Lavi had a inkling that Tyki cared more about him than he thought. Last night… things were different—more so than they had ever been in the past. Tyki had never spoken to him like that, looked at him with that flash of neediness behind his eyes, like he was scared of losing something.

What had happened between the time they had parted after scouring the town for the 14th and that moment in his room? Tyki had been so cold, and at times even hostile. But last night… God, they’d never fucked like that before. It was soft, tender, quiet… Almost as if—

It struck Lavi then, a thought so outrageous he almost rejected it entirely. They hadn’t been fucking. They had been making love.

Lavi shook his head against the pillow. It was absurd. Tyki didn’t love him. He didn’t.

But his words from last night echoed in Lavi’s mind:

_“You’re worth it. You’re worth everything.”_

_“Just be with me. I need you right now.”_

Lavi had been convinced he was the only one who caught feelings during their tryst. And Tyki wasn’t like him—he was a Noah, a murderer, a monster who had tried to kill him and his friends on multiple occasions, and succeeded in some cases. He didn’t have the capacity to love, to feel anything other than hate. After all, when they began this relationship, Tyki had told him that the only reason he wanted to fuck him was to ward off boredom, and Lavi assumed they continued it because it felt good. Lavi let him use his body as he saw fit, to bruise and bite and scratch him up until he was raw inside and out. He didn’t care about Lavi—he didn’t.

**_“You’re worth it. You’re worth everything.”_ **

With a sigh, Lavi rubbed at his good eye. It was too much to think about, too much to take in. He sat up in bed, the sheets pooling at his waist and the cool air biting at his exposed skin. He needed a bath, the evidence of their activities still sticking to his skin like glue. He scratched at the dried cum on his stomach, the white mess flaking off. He moved to slip off the bed, but Tyki tightened his hold. Lavi looked down at the Noah.

“Where are you going?” Tyki asked, his eyes still closed as he clung to him.

“To clean up, unless you’d rather we both roll around in our own filth longer than necessary.” Lavi couldn’t help but grin as he ran his fingers through Tyki’s hair. It was a tangled mess from sleeping, but he carefully worked through the knots.

“I wouldn’t mind it. I kinda like the filth.” Tyki snorted into his pillow pressing his face against it.

“You _would_ say that.” Lavi pulled away again, and this time Tyki let go of his waist. He walked towards the washroom, purposefully keeping his gaze off the bed. He didn’t want to know if Tyki was watching him; it was embarrassing enough walking around naked without the blessed cover of night. “I’ll be quick,” he said as an afterthought, ducking into the washroom and closing the door.

When he was alone, Lavi took a breath to calm the rapid beating of his heart. He set about filling the tub with hot water and grabbing a few washcloths as well, when he heard the click of the door opening and closing again. He turned to complain about Tyki’s impatience, but before he could speak, his lips were on Lavi’s with a fiery hunger. Lavi sucked in a gasp, his body melting against Tyki’s. When Lavi managed to pull back, he met Tyki’s eyes.

“What are you doing?”

Tyki shrugged and smirked down at him. “I didn’t want to wait.” He pressed himself up against Lavi, and couldn’t hide his obvious arousal. It burned against Lavi’s hip as Tyki ran his hands over his body. “Besides, I thought you might need some help.”

“Help?”

“Cleaning those hard to reach areas,” Tyki added, one hand slipping down to grab his ass.

This felt familiar, this banter with the overly sexual innuendos and inappropriate touches. Lavi fell into it like the comforting embrace of an old friend. He rolled his eye, but let Tyki continue to fondle him like a toy. “Do you ever stop being a pervert?”

“I’ll let you know if Hell freezes over,” Tyki replied, cutting off any response Lavi could’ve come back with by pressing his lips against the redhead’s.

Pushing his worries and overbearing thoughts to the back of his mind, he and Tyki fell into another round of carnal activities. It was better than thinking too much, anyway, and Lavi was ready to do anything to chase those pesky thoughts out of his head.

 

xXxXxXx

 

Lavi’s knuckles turned white as he gripped the headboard tightly, the fast _thump-thump-thump_ pace of Tyki pounding into his ass leaving the walls shaking from the motion. Lavi cried out with each thrust, his body trembling from the contact. He’d already spilled himself onto the sheets too many times to count, and his legs quivered from exhaustion. Ever since they had woken up that morning, they had twisted themselves together, swapping skin for hours. Lavi was tired and sore, but he couldn’t stop, not when these thoughts were still buzzing in his head.

“Fuck, Tyki. _Harder_ ,” he cried, his eye squeezed shut and widened his legs for a better angle. Tyki complied, working into him harder than before. Lavi heard his panting behind him, heavy and winded, but it didn’t stop him from moving so fast and hard that Lavi was sure his body would split in two.

When Tyki finally came, Lavi felt it pool inside him, leaking out from his raw and abused hole. Lavi groaned as Tyki slipped out and collapsed on the bed, fighting to catch his breath. He had to unclench his hands from the wood before he could join Tyki on the bed properly. He faceplanted into the pillows before rolling to his side and watching Tyki’s chest rise and fall with heavy breaths.

“I’m done. I can’t keep it up anymore,” Lavi sighed out, pressing himself up against Tyki’s body.

Tyki chuckled, but he still sounded winded. “That’s what you said last time.”

“I mean it this time.”

“Uhuh, sure,” Tyki teased as he brushed his sweaty bangs from his forehead and stared up at the ceiling. “I’ve heard that before.”

Lavi didn’t bother to argue. He was too tired from their activities to do more than lay there and keep from turning into a puddle of useless goo against the mattress. “At least let me rest a bit.”

“Aw, what’s the matter, Red? All tuckered out?”

“Please. You sound like you’re about to pass out from exhaustion.” Lavi snickered and buried his face into Tyki’s arm, not caring that they were both a sweaty, sticky mess. “How old are you again? You didn’t break your hip fucking me, did you?”

Tyki snorted and pushed himself up, throwing one arm over Lavi to brace against the bed. He hovered over him, smirking widely. “Oh? Shall I prove to you how spry I am?”

Lavi matched his smirk with one of his own. “I dunno. Can you get it up again?”

“You little shit,” Tyki growled out, leaning in to kiss him hard.

Preparing himself for another round, Lavi slid his fingers into Tyki’s dirty hair and clung tightly to the strands. Tyki moved over him, the smell of sweat and sex and cum filling Lavi’s nose as they kissed with sore lips. Just as he spread his legs, welcoming Tyki in once more, the Noah froze up, then pulled away.

Lavi blinked, confused. “Tyki?”

Tyki sat up and glared at the door. “Go away.” Lavi raised his eyebrows and was about to speak up again, when Tyki continued talking to no one. “Goddammit, _fine_. Give me five minutes.” He pulled himself off the bed and slipped into the washroom.

Sitting up, Lavi winced as he shifted his sore muscles. He could hear Tyki grumbling to himself as the water turned on again. “What was that about?” he asked, pulling the sheets tighter to his naked form.

“Apparently Wisely and Road are tired of waiting for us,” Tyki answered from the other room.

“Wait, they… Were they speaking to you telepathically?” Lavi flushed as his mind put the pieces together. “So, they know we were…?”

Tyki laughed, the water shutting off. “Oh, yes. They know all about it.”

“Fuck,” Lavi groaned, falling back against the bed. “Fuck, fuck, _fuck_.”

Tyki walked back into the room, toweling off his hair. He’d quickly cleaned himself up, not having enough time for a proper shower. “Don’t worry your pretty, little head, Red. They won’t tell anyone, especially Bookman. Road will just taunt you endlessly over it.”

Lavi didn’t want to think about it, or the repercussions of having anyone else know about their affair. “I suppose I should get ready, too.” He moved to get up, but Tyki pushed him back down.

“No, just stay here.”

Lavi sighed. “I’m supposed to be recording. There’s not much to record here, now is there?”

“Just rest for a while. Seriously, I doubt you can walk far after all we did this morning.” Tyki tossed the damp towel on the floor before grabbing his discarded clothes from yesterday. “I’ll tell you if anything fun happens.”

Lavi watched him for a moment, pursing his lips. As much as he wanted to deny it, Tyki was right. He was sore and tired, and still hadn’t eaten a proper meal since yesterday. Besides, it wasn’t like he wanted to traipse around town looking for the 14th. “All right. I’ll stay.”

Tyki offered him a smile before leaving the room as he was adjusting his shirt. “Stay out of trouble without me.” He closed the door too fast to see Lavi roll his eye.

Once he was alone, Lavi took his time heading to the washroom. He cleaned himself up, found some fresh clothes in his pack, then once he had the strength for it, headed town to the restaurant in the main section of the inn. By the time he was ready to order food, it was well past lunch, nearly dinner time.

Lavi ordered his food and ate it slowly, in no rush now that he’d been left to his own devices. He was still sore, as Tyki predicted, but not as much as anticipated. The inn was quiet at that hour, and it was nice to simply eat and drink in peace with no one to bother him but the waitress.

However, once his stomach was filled, Lavi had nothing left to distract him from his thoughts, the same ones that had plagued him that morning. Tyki had managed to keep him occupied for most of the day, but that wasn’t something he could rely on. It was his least sensible plan to date, and the more logical part of his brain reminded him he couldn’t just fuck his problems away, no matter how hard he tried.

With his meal paid for, Lavi headed outside, hoping some fresh air would clear his head. The sun was lower in the sky, striking it with a pink tint. A cool breeze blew through the still busy markets, and Lavi rubbed the back of his neck to ease a kink from it. Tyki, Road, and Wisely had yet to return, but he expected them back soon—and seeing Tyki again wasn’t going to make his thoughts any less chaotic than they were right then.

They needed to talk, talk about their relationship and where it was headed, if it was headed anywhere. Lavi didn’t think he could keep up this dance with Tyki much longer. He needed to know what they were to each other, and what that meant for the future. They couldn’t keep this up forever, right?

God, there it was—the crux of their issues. Even if they did both feel something for each other besides lust, it couldn’t go anywhere. There _was no_ future. Tyki was a Noah. Lavi was a former Exorcist and Bookman. It couldn’t work. Tyki’s goal was to rid the world of humans, and Lavi had pledged to stop him, at least while he’d been at the Black Order. And even though he was bound to stay impartial per the Bookman code, Lavi found it impractical to stand on the sidelines as his entire species was ripped from existence by the Noah.

No matter what, they were fucked.

Lavi had been so lost in his thoughts as he walked down the street that he didn’t notice the figure in the shadows of the alley until there were hands on his shirt, dragging him away. The shock wore off fast, and Lavi tried to twist out of his attacker’s grip. But before he could get far, a hand pressed over his mouth, and he heard a familiar voice shushing him.

“Lavi, calm down. It’s me.”

When Lavi stopped struggling, he looked up, eye wide. The grip on his shirt loosened, and Lavi took a step back, his voice not working.

It was Allen… _Allen_ …

It _was_ him, too. Not Neah. Not the 14th Noah. _Allen_. His silver eyes were soft and kind, the same as Lavi had remembered, and the smile on his face was sweet with that touch of sadness that always followed him around like a lost puppy. **_Allen_**.

Lavi didn’t know how to process this, or what to think. He knew that the Noah were looking for the 14th, so technically he was in the city, but he hadn’t expected to actually see him, to see Allen and not Neah. “W-What are you doing here? How did you find me?”

Allen’s hands tightened in the fabric of Lavi’s shirt. “I woke up here not long ago, and saw you… You were with the Noah.” He paused, looking back out to the street as if to check that they hadn’t been followed. “Why are you with them? Why aren’t you with the Order?”

Lavi’s throat dried up. Did he not know? “It’s… it’s a long story…” He went to reach out to Allen, but hesitated. “What happened to you? Last I’d heard, you were… not you anymore.”

“You mean the 14th?” Allen asked, a sad smile creeping over his face. “He hasn’t devoured my consciousness quiet yet. I have long periods of lost time, but I manage to pull myself back again. That’s how I found you.”

“Me?”

Allen nodded, leaning in closer. “I woke up in this town with no idea how I got here. But as I was wandering, I saw you with Tyki.” He met Lavi’s gaze. “Lavi, what happened? Where is your hammer? Where is Bookman?”

Anxiety overwhelmed Lavi to the point that he froze up, not knowing how to explain to Allen what had happened. How could he? It didn’t even make sense to Lavi how he’d stumbled into this mess.

Allen seemed to sense his apprehension, and reached up with his right hand to hold it to Lavi’s cheek. “It’s all right, Lavi. You don’t have to explain it now. But we should go, before it’s too late.”

“G-Go?”

“I’ll get us somewhere safe so we can talk. C’mon.” Allen pulled him further into the alley and away from the street. Lavi’s voice caught in his throat. Could he even leave? Was that an option?

Before Lavi could find his tongue, a hand shot out to grip Allen’s throat and pin him against the wall. Lavi jumped back, shocked to see Tyki. He didn’t know how the Noah had found them, but as soon as he saw Allen clawing at his hands to pull them away from his neck, the fog surrounding his head cleared. He jumped in, grabbing Tyki’s arm and pulling it back. He couldn’t quite pry Tyki’s fingers from Allen’s neck, but it was enough to let Allen breathe.

“Tyki, _stop it!_ It’s not the 14th! It’s _Allen!”_

“That’s what you said the last time, Red,” Tyki growled out, still holding Allen to the wall, a manic grin on his face. “Besides, it doesn’t matter. I’m killing him anyway.”

“Tyki, please!” Lavi pleaded, pulling harder on his arms. He shook from the effort, but didn’t let go. “Please, don’t do it.” His heart was in his throat and a panicked sweat broke out on his skin. This couldn’t happen. He couldn’t watch Allen die—not like this.

Allen was calmer than Lavi thought was possible, given the circumstances. He leveled his silver eyes to Tyki’s, his hands shaking as he held back Tyki’s wrists. “You’re still there, aren’t you? It hasn’t completely taken over you, either.”

“What the fuck are you rambling about?” Tyki asked, still squeezing his hands tight against Allen.

“The Noah— _your_ Noah,” Allen clarified. “It’s not easy to keep your own consciousness intact, is it? But you still haven’t given in like the others.”

“What do you know about it?” he asked, his voice dripping with venom. His hands shook as he continued to squeeze Allen’s neck, but the grip was barely enough to restrict airflow.

Allen rested his hands on top of Tyki’s, his gaze never wavering. “I’m going to find a way to erase the Noah memories inside of me. Do you want to as well?”

Lavi’s jaw dropped, his green eye wide. He looked from Allen to Tyki and back again, unable to read either of their faces. His chest was still tight with worry, and he didn’t let go of Tyki’s arms, still afraid he’d crush Allen’s throat if given the chance.

“You want me to turn my back on my family? Who do you take me for?” Tyki asked, his eyebrows narrowing.

“They’re not your family, or mine,” Allen said, staying calm and collected. “The Noah memories are not you, just like they’re not me. I’m not Neah anymore than you’re Joyd.”

Tyki stiffed at the name, having heard it before. He knew it was the name of his Noah, the Noah he hadn’t let completely take over his mind like Road or Wisely had, but nothing more than that.

Allen continued, not waiting for an answer. “I’m Allen, and you’re Tyki. Do you want it to stay that way? Or do you want to lose yourself like the others have?”

Pausing for a short moment, Tyki finally let go of Allen. He kept a wary eye on him and didn’t back away. “There’s no way to remove the memories once they’ve taken hold. It’s impossible.”

Allen smiled, and Lavi recognized it as the same one he wore while playing poker. “Nothing’s impossible, Tyki. Either way, I’m taking Lavi with me. You can come with or we can fight it out here. What’s it going to be?”

Lavi bit his lip, and when he looked over to Tyki, the Noah met his gaze for a brief second. He couldn’t quite read the emotions hidden behind those yellow eyes, but they were clearly conflicted. It was another long, tense moment before Tyki answered.

“I’m coming with you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading. ;w;
> 
> Just so you know, there will be one more part. I'm not sure when I'll have time to write it, but I'll do it as soon as I can (and hopefully not make you all wait as long for it.)
> 
> As always, please let me know what you think. ;A; Comments give me life.


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